Lessons………
The last post I shared with you was about a recent heart break. I shared my realization through that moment of the need to exit the darkness. No, this post is not about me telling you I have found my sun and somebody’s son. At least not yet….
With this post I want to share with you some of the lessons I am learning.
One thing I realize we tend to do, as humans, is blame ourselves when someone does us wrong. We can go straight to trying to figure out what we did wrong, or worse, what is wrong with us. We never look at the other person first, we immediately start to make ourselves the enemy.
I’ve always wondered why? Why do we do that? Why are we not kind to ourselves? Think about it... when someone gets hurt, for example gets pushed down, what is your first reaction? Some of us would immediately go to see if the person is okay. We wouldn’t immediately tell the person they are at fault for what just happened. But why when we get hurt, we do not show ourselves that level of kindness or even concern? We immediately go to blaming over selves for someone’s actions.
My therapist gave me a new challenge recently and it has been super helpful. Instead of being unkind to myself, I needed to start practicing ways to empower myself. One way of doing this is to look for the lessons in the mess.
What lesson is God trying to teach me? What do I need to learn to become successful in this situation?
Sometimes we need to shift our focus to what we can learn and be better for ourselves, rather than stay in the mindset that everything is our fault.
One lesson I am learning through this is the power of Forgiveness. Forgiveness sounds easy, and it also sounds like a quick fix to others, but I am learning that forgiveness is the first decision needed towards healing. There are also real levels of forgiveness and major steps to take in order to heal.
The first step is to understand that forgiveness is a decision not a response. You are making the decision to heal, and in order to heal you have to let go of the pain and the person. Trust me, I know it is easier said than done, but no one said this process will be easy. The next step is to identify the reason as to why you are choosing forgiveness. I know this may sound weird, but truly knowing why you are making this decision will help with the process. For example, I want to forgive because I LOVE peace. I know that forgiving this person will give me the peace that I deserve.
This makes the next step a lot easier, LETTING GO. Forgiving is about Letting go of all the hurt and releasing the pain, and the heartache.
This gets us a step closer to healing and even a step closer to what God truly has planned for us at that moment.
Nevertheless, forgiveness does require work. It requires you to remember that you come first. It also requires you to understand that God is still by your side through it all and you are not alone. And last but not least, it requires you to understand that this level of forgiveness is a part of a bigger and better chapter in your life. A chapter you can only get to when you decide to release the pain and the hurt.
Love You Live Now, and as you are loving yourself, remember there are moments when storms do come. There are moments when we will come across people who will hurt us. However, with loving ourselves, we need to remember that there is a much greater love out there and that’s God’s love. And when asked of Him, He will help us through the healing process and forgiveness.
